My Bald Shih Tzu

*Warning: I think this is my gay-est entry ever haha*

Around one month ago went I got home from work, I was surprised to see a new dog inside our house. There’s only one dog staying inside the house and his name is Bob. I so love him I even wrote a blog entry about him before (How A Shih Tzu Made My Life Better). Check it out, isn’t he so cute? He’s my ultimate de-stress-er because he always smiles and he got so much energy. You’ll actually envy him, he never gets tired. And he sleeps like a human. Yep he does. Amazing right?

These are the reasons why I got shocked when I saw a bald Shih Tzu inside our house. I thought it was a new dog but when I looked closely, it was Bob! I was so surprised. What made things worse is that you can see that Bob is not happy with his new haircut. After several weeks, we witnessed Bob’s transformation. He doesn’t smile anymore, he’s no longer enthusiastic and playful, and there are even times when he doesn’t even leave the room. Poor Bob. We were concerned. We really were. Buy what can we do? It’ll take at least 2 months for his hair to grow and we didn’t know of any dog hair grower shampoo.

So we just waited. We didn’t stop playing with him and we were extra sensitive. He looked funny but we didn’t laugh. My mom always reminded us that he can feel that we’re laughing at him.

And then, just like the fairy tales we read when we were young, Bob went back to normal. He became happy again. He started to be playful and enthusiastic just like before. And now, he smiles at you when you call his name. He’s still bald but I think he finally got used to it.

My de-stress-er is back! yey!

Bob before:

Bob now:

Autumn

I just watched (500) Days of Summer last night and I want to write how it made me feel because the feeling is so special. It’s not a purely happy feeling, it’s also not a purely sad one. It’s like a feeling painted out of different colors all combined to form a great masterpiece.

If you haven’t watched the movie yet, I need to warn you that some of my thoughts may spoil the movie, obviously hehe

Here we go

I believe that we all have our own ’500 Days of Summer’. It may not be 500 days, her/his name may not be Summer, and the effect of such days may be more or less hurtful as compared to the movie. I believe that there would always be situations wherein we would think that it’s too good to be true, such situations that give us so much happiness and possibly equally or worse pain. This is because one way or another, our expectations will mismatch reality. At least once in our lifetime, I believe this will happen. I have experienced this more than once in different aspects of life and I know a lot of people who share the same experience. Sometimes I feel that my happiness is coming from something that is so good, so good that I become scared. And true enough, there is reason to be scared. Then that day happens when everything crashes, sometimes for reasons that we don’t even expect.

Then I break down, feel pain and agony and do crazy things. I become bitter that things have to be this way. I was happy, why not continue to be happy? I didn’t understand, I didn’t see the reason why. I try to distract myself, doing things that I don’t normally do. I try to cover the pain, to fill in the hole with something larger than it, so large that it won’t fit, so large that I would be overwhelmed. I question destiny, I question love, I even question God. And at the end of each day, I sleep with tears in my heart and eyes thinking that I will never be better, or even normal again.

Then you start to pick yourself up. You see the value of other people around you. You see the value of things that were there all along. You realize that you always had the power to be better, you were just too busy thinking that you can’t. You start to attract more positive ideas, more positive things, more positive people. The tears stop and smiles replace the frowns. You start to go back and realize the reason why. Your questions start getting answered and the answers make perfect sense. You realize that you don’t need to fill in the hole because there was no hole in the first place. You were whole all along. Your expectations then start to match reality and one day as you look at the sun in a weather so cozy you realize that all this time… you were not just looking hard enough. And the cosmos bridges you to that ultimate day where Summer ends and Autumn begins. And you know in your mind and in your heart that you deserve it and that’s the best thing.

It’s not just about relationships, it happens in all aspects in life. In our career, in our family, in our pursuit of our goals. There would always be times when our expectations will mismatch reality and it would hurt, sometimes just a little, sometimes so much. But we can always cope up in our own ways, in our own time.

Clouds

If I can do one unique thing today, what will it be? Life has been good to me. Despite all the challenges I am facing everyday, I still go to sleep and wake up with warmth in my heart. Maybe that’s because I have created  a mechanism wherein my brain always reminds me to be positive, and for me… at least for me… positive thinking leads to positive emotions.

So now I sit here on my chair, typing words which I hope will be full of wisdom, thinking of ways how to maximize this day.

I have noticed that I’m becoming more and more conscious about feeling depressed. I usually attach an action with it’s overall result. So if I do something, most of the time I think of it’s effects especially with my emotions.

But I guess we can’t be happy all the time. We can’t feel so special everyday. We can always strive and we can always have the feeling back but so many people with so many attitudes with so many relations in our lives can only just alter your ideal day everyday and that’s perfectly normal.

All of these emotions, all of these feelings are like clouds surrounding us. We may like it and we may not. But no matter what happens, these are just clouds, simply there to block our view of the truth, or shield us from it. The clouds can’t hurt us and they are simply a mere combination of gases that will soon disappear. And when it does, what’s left is us – and that matters more than anything else.